This year has certainly been an emotional ride that took a turn for the worse in the latter half.
Just a few more days before the end of the year and I tell you I am so tired and depleted both mentally and emotionally.
2018 was just a struggle……
A solemn struggle for my heart, my peace, my mind, my…. life. Additional rounds of recurring combats that opened new wounds and some that I thought had healed. Occurrences that have left me drained and groveling with nothing to show for it.
At the end of 2018 I can say that I have accumulated a number of disappointments and regrets. I wish I could list many amazing things that materialized this year, atleast some things that I had planned from the end of 2017. I wish I could replace my visions for 2018 with new visions for 2019 but unfortunately they’re just rolling over…. again. Nevertheless I still have specific goals for 2019 that I have my sights on.
Through it all, I still am grateful for all the small but awesome blessings that found me this year. The times I smiled and laughed sincerely and the times I was truly able to fully embrace and live in beautiful moments. And though 2018 got to me, am still here alive…. not totally well…. but alive, which is more than I could say for alot of people. And alive means possibilities!
The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in the darkness like those long dead. So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.
Psalm 143:3-5 NIV
With a few days to go, I wish for my sake that I can leave the disappointments, the baggage and the burdens behind. I wish I could step into peace above everything and healing for the places that have been damaged and bleeding, and for the scars that I have been picking at constantly. And I wish for a replenishment of strength and wisdom and fight to go forward.
It’s not over.
Love and light…
How was your year???